New Aeon of Storms Wiki

John is an EU player in the inhouse community. He is considered to be the most well-liked player on Mumble. He is also very skilled in the game and is considered a Tier 1 Player.

John is also well-known for his harrowing experience with a Karen at the young age of 19 where he was forced to apologise for going down the slide first and subsequently asked where his mother was. Truly horrifying. Some speculate this is why he spends his days sitting on playground benches to make sure this never happens to other children again.

There are also rumors about him secretly sending ”feet pics” to Ubersauce, quite disturbing I must say.

John is a 6'8" 305 lb. bodybuilding monster. To give you an idea, he takes in 5000 cals while cutting, and has an IV stuck into his arm with protein flowing in at all times to avoid going catabolic, because when it happens he goes into a maddened rage.

Oh, and also, John has been seen saying stuff like: ”Masturbating dumb as Hell. How the fuck is my hand supposed to live up to the experience of 110lbs+ of goddess meat bouncing on my pelvic while screaming my name?” If you’re asking me, thats kinda sus...

John has often been described as anger in human form. With the easygoing charm of a wounded prisoner with a flicknife.